Sunday, May 22, 2005

Random thoughts

Randomness Number 1

Some guys have problem with girls being "better"... doing this 5 weeks project called Engineering Innovation and Design (EID) for NTU... compulsory for all year 2 engineering students and in my faculty, we (a group of 12) come up with an innovation or product and develop a business plan to market it la... in my group, I am the only Singaporean (the rest are Malaysians)... also, I am one of the 3 girls in the whole group... doesn't help that the other 2 girls are usually quite quiet... anyway, I'm the kind of person who just voices all the concerns or possible loopholes for each idea or product la... u can say I'm pessimistic, but I always believe that for such things, need to think really objectively and any possible flaw must be voiced out and addressed... so yeah... think some guys don't like me for that.. doesn't help even more that mostly what I say somehow comes true in the end.. ie the concern I raised is crucial, or a point I made about why something won't work really happens... is this a "Guy Ego" thing? or am I really that irritating?

Randomness Number 2

It just sort of hit me that my term in MC (Member Committee) of AIESEC in Singapore is just around the corner... it may sound weird but all along, meeting a trainee or SN or anyone who was in MC always seemed such a "whoah" thing... like far away and so impressive... and then today after the 1st day of MC Team-to-Team Transition, I realised that I am really gonna be in the MC... and that it isn't such a far-off thing anymore... I don't mean this in the sense that I don't understand the significance of my role... it's just so gradual in a sense, cos I guess some of us have been working closely with the current MCs anyway... anyway it's also the "wow... how time flies!" concept... in not too long, I'm gonna have 2 batches of juniors... and I'll be in a team I, as a junior, used to think was daunting... hmmmm... reversal of perspective in some sense?

Randomness Number 3

I've been doing wushu since 2001, which means this is going into the 5th year... never was conscious of that until Yamini asked me today... this was after she saw the screen saver on my laptop.. yeah you guessed it... photos of wushu weapons, pro people doing the routines, photos of Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Vincent Ng, Donny Yen... hehe... sometimes I wonder why I have these photos and all the collections of wushu related stuff... sometimes I think I do it because it's a way of reminding myself of my passion for the ART, the "glorious" past, the fun days... but I sometimes also wonder if it's due to guilt on my part... honestly I haven't really had the time to train as much as I want to, or to go back to HCJC and get involved in the wushu community more, or to even meet up with my wushu buddies... and there is this gnawing feeling of guilt at the back of my head which tells me it's just WRONG to let go of the connection with Wushu, and what it has given me... and because I don't have the time to take physical action in training, I seek solace in collecting these things, perhaps only in a bid to prove to myself that I still hold that connection with Wushu, to remind myself of my passion for it and that it is burning on... so is this really all there is???

Randomness Number 4

Why am I blogging till 1.30am when I have a meeting tmr morning at 11am, followed by transition with Triin, followed by dinner gathering with wushu buddies??


Sometimes I wish I understood myself... and sometimes I wish I don't...